Grief Triggers

Ever have something trigger a memory and blind side you? Yeah, me too.

I was driving today listening to the Country Christmas Station when I flashed back from being a broken hearted 13 year old girl. You see my bff from middle school had just recently moved to Florida and she had come back for a visit for the weekend. My Dad and I had just dropped her off to meet her parents. Laurie and I had agreed not to cry but I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain. SO as I struggled to not cry, my dad had me lay my head against him to she wouldn’t see me crying as we drove away.

This was the day of 8 track tapes. So Dad had the Oak Ridge Boys playing and he had started to sing Thank God for Kids as I sobbed. A few minutes into my sobs, I remember the words he spoke to me as if it was yesterday. He said, “Honey, no matter how far away I am, just close your eyes and talk to me. I’ll always be here for you.” I just kept crying all the way home as he stroked my hair. My Dad traveled selling farm equipment so he was often on the road, so at the time it made sense. Little would I know, less than 12 hours my Dad would die of a massive heart attack. Now those words have a completely different meaning.

So today when Kenny Chesney came on the Christmas station and started singing Thank God for Kids, I burst into tears. 37 years later (Dec 1, 1985), I was 13 again for a few minutes.

Grief never stops after you lose someone-the hole is never filled, you just learn to live life around it.  Yes, it looks different but it never stops this side of heaven. Be kind to those this holiday season.