Joy and Sorrow Can Co-Exist: Finding Hope in the Holidays

Joy and Sorrow Can Co-Exist: A Lesson From a Christmas Ornament

The holidays are often painted as the most joyful time of the year. But for many of us, they come with a mix of emotions—joy, sorrow, longing, and even a little hope. This year, I’ve been feeling that mix more than ever.

It’s been three years since my mom left this world for Heaven, but this year has felt like the hardest yet. My mom was my biggest encourager, the person who believed in me more than anyone else. Now, as I find myself at a crossroads in my career, I long to hear her voice telling me, “You’ve got this. You’re meant to do more.”

Grief is a funny thing. In my humble opinion, it doesn’t get better; it just gets different. Some days it feels like a gentle wave, and other days it’s a full-blown storm. And recently, it’s been pretty dang stormy.

The Night I Almost Stayed Home

Tuesday night, I was supposed to attend a Christmas ornament exchange. Normally, something like this would bring me joy, but I just wasn’t feeling it. I told my husband, “I don’t want to go. I just want to crawl into bed.”

He looked at me and said something like, “You need to go. You need to get some joy back.”

Reluctantly, I went. And as I sat among dear friends, something amazing happened. The ornament I picked wasn’t just an ornament—it was a message from above.

A Gentle Reminder From the Lord

The ornament I brought home read: JOY.

It was as if God Himself was whispering, “Even in your sorrow, there is still room for joy.”

As the night ended, it reinforced something powerful that I have been learning: Joy and sorrow can co-exist. Being sad over loss doesn’t mean I can’t also feel joy. Missing my mom doesn’t take away the moments of laughter or hope. And the same is true for you.

For Those Feeling a Mix of Joy and Sorrow This Season

If you’re feeling both joy and sorrow this holiday season, I see you. The world may tell you to focus only on the happy moments, but the truth is, it’s okay to feel both. Grief is part of love, and it’s part of life.

Here’s what I’m learning about navigating my emotions:

1. Lean Into Both: Don’t fight the sadness or force the joy. Let yourself feel both, as they’re part of the healing journey (which honestly, I don’t think ever ends).
2. Find Small Reminders of Hope: Sometimes, hope shows up in unexpected places—like an ornament with the word JOY or a kind word from a friend. Cherish those moments.
3. Give Yourself Grace: If you need to take a break, take it. If you feel like crying and laughing in the same hour, DO IT and don’t feel weird about it.
4. Remember You’re Not Alone: Whether it’s through faith, family, or friends, lean on those around you. You don’t have to carry the mix of emotions by yourself.

Joy Is Still Here

This holiday season... let’s remember that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to grieve and celebrate. It’s okay to feel the sadness & loss of someone we love while finding joy in the other moments.

So, to everyone who’s feeling a little bit of both this year, I see you. I’m with you. And I hope you know that joy is still here, even in the midst of sorrow. GOD'S GOT YOU. Lean into it. This is what makes life so beautifully complex.