Saying Goodbye

Mar 26, 2020

Lots of you know that I just returned from NC. We were taking care of some of the things at mom's house to eventually put it on the market...amongst going through all the drawers, closets, and file cabinets it also included me going through box after box of picutres and letters. Love letters between my mom and dad. Pictures of my Dad in the Navy, their wedding day, baby pictures of me and my brother, and tons of family pictures. My mother was a photographer back in the day and had her own dark room in our house. After my dad died, her photography stopped. Life got really hard for her. Having to raise 2 kids all while dealing with the sudden death of my dad-I just can't imagine.

And let's just say, we weren't the easiest kids to raise. My brother suffered with major intestinal issues until he was a senior in high school- aka grief displaced. And for lack of a better description, I went off the deep end when dad died because my dad was my best friend. I started partying and doing whatever I could to fill the void that his sudden death created.

Despite all of the sad things above, I still had a great childhood compared to most. I had a great group of friends and I loved them deeply (most of them still!). But guys so many dang memories. Let's just say a lot of processing to do. Our house was the mecca of so many hang outs, from friends to boyfriends to cousins- we always had a revolving door. Mom and Dad bought our house 43 years ago!  Good times. I'm super thankful that my mom is still alive and that I'm not grieving her death on top of everything else. The emotions run so deep with this kind of stuff. I think there's a lot to learn from my experience.

1.  You can't view life through the "Me Me Me" lens. So much of my life I viewed with no regard to anyone else. Looking through stacks and stacks of pictures of different relationships I had before I married my husband Tom, I realized something...I had fault in every one that ended. I believe without a shadow of a doubt that I am married to the man God hand picked for me. But if I am honest, I don't think up until this point, I ever really deep down believed that. 

2. It's never too late to reach out to people who made an impact in your life. It is important. They need to hear from you. Please trust me. I promise that the positive words you speak, radically can change the world. I know that is dramatic but it is so true. Pick up the phone, write a letter, make a lunch appointment. 

3. Time is fleeting. We never imagine that time will pass so fast. It does. Poof, it is gone. It's a family home put on the market, it's a closet that holds memories, it's a drawer that has muscle memory. Whatever it is, it is fleeting. Take advantage of the time you have. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised. 

4. Your childhood shapes you, for better, for worse. Rise above it if it wasn't good, cherish it if it was. You have a choice to move forward taking the things you have learned and make your own way. You don't have to do it the way you had it modeled. Thankfully, I grew up in a home I have always tried to model. Thanks Mom and Dad.

5. Be grateful. Remember, every experience shapes us. Good, bad, indifferent. Be grateful. 

So much more to say, but for your sake, I will end it here. 

Cheers to taking a few intentional steps!

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